Humor Wikia Blog

Breaking UnNews at Uncyclopedia: URANUS - Scientists in a secret laboratory on the planet Uranus have discovered The Farce, the mysterious entity popularized–some say invented–by George Lucas, the renowned racist and sexist producer of the Star Bores film series. In these films, Dark Invader, Onion Bun, Luke Skywriter, Yodel, and other Jello Knights are inhabited by microscopic organisms known, collectively, as mini-chlorines. These germs make up what the Jello Knights call The Farce.

“May the Farce be with you,” Jello Knights often say to one another in the Lucas films, the greeting one of the many examples of the bad terrible dialogue for which Lucas is known. The producer is also famous–or notorious, depending upon one’s point of view–for such sexist characters as Princess Lay-me and Princess Pet-me I’m-a-dolly and for the racist characters Jarhead Binx and Wattle. His characterization techniques, in fact, launched a new method of depicting personality that is discussed, ad infinitum, in Uncyclopedia’s How to create fantastic fantasy characters and make a million-gazillion dollars. (more …)

This post includes content from Uncyclopedia which is available under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license.

HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd: As you sit back after decimating a n00b on World of Warcaft, you happen to look in the mirror. A bespectacled, triple-chinned, paste-eating figure stares back at you. “Is that me??? you ask. What a nerd!” Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. You can stop being a nerd.

Nerdiness is a deadly and painful disease, which sadly affects almost 3.1415926535897932384626433832795% of the human population. The disease is highly contagious, genetic, and in most cases, lasting throughout the victim’s entire life. Most sufferers of nerdiness reside in areas where technologically advanced devices are readily available, such as video game stores, the Internet, or in more serious conditions, Star Trek conventions. Nerdiness is caused by a virus that resides in a person’s frontal lobe, eventually spreading throughout the entire body. The more common virus is Spazivirginianus uncyclopidae which through rigorous counseling and possibly surgery, can be cured. The more lethal cousin of Spazivirginianus uncyclopidae is Spazivirginianus trekkimus, which will infect the victim’s very soul, wasting away the said victim to nothingness. (more…) on Uncyclopedia

Jean-Luc Picard was a British chap who pretended to be a French guy because he thought it would help boost his career. Unfortunately, he was right, but only because the people at Starfleet Command are idiots. He soon became the captain of a really big, revamped version of Enterprise and was so giddy about his cushy assignment that he completely forgot he was supposed to be a Frenchman and kept using a British accent. His crew either didn’t notice, didn’t care, or decided they would use it as “dirt” later. Read more >>>

Bin Laden releases new video

Cairo, Egypt: In a move that startled U.S. officials, Osama Bin Laden released a video last week to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11. The unimportant news could have been printed sooner, but took a back seat to more important issues like O.J. Simpson’s newest crimes or Led Zeppelin’s reunion concert. Yes, the infamous Osama Bin Laden, who of late has become less “infamous” and more “not-famous”, has released another video. Ben Venzke, the head of IntelCenter, which sometimes analyzes militant messages, but usually just goes and gets pizzas for the real CIA, said, “We were all pretty surprised when this video showed up. Honestly, on a solemn day like September 11th! Show some respect, people! Sheesh!” He went on to mention that, since Bin Laden hadn’t released a video lately, “we were all kinda hoping he’d just died, or something”.

Obviously, this was not the case. Instead, Bin Laden came off as happier and more lively, with a bit more spring in his step. In the video, Bin Laden apologized for his lack of solemnity, as he was “getting really into that 9/11 spirit.” He went on to brag about his new agent…

read the full report

Super Mario 128 is the first shame since the 1600s to have both Mario and Luigi in it. Well, actually, since Mario is dead, Wario took his place.

Evil Guy, and his assistant, Pickle, kidnapped Waluigi during the Yoshi’s Island Scandal. As that event was going on, Mario was killed in the Toad Revolt, leaving it up to a dwarf planet named Luigi and a larger planet named Wario to save the day. The final Boss is Evil Guy. In the end, Evil Guy and Pickle are defeated, but not before they destroy Luigi. Luigi comes back as a pickle, and Waluigi stays missing. more…

A Waluigi is a bad-tasting and often poisonous kind of English Muffin. The word can also refer to Waluigi, Wario’s little brother who has repeatedly been convicted of incest. Waluigi thinks that he is cool, suave, and attractive, but he is really ugly and annoying. Nobody likes him, and he constantly whines about it. So far, Waluigi has only appeared in crappy sports shames, but he was also the damsel in distress in Super Mario 128. Because Waluigi likes to cross-dress, he was mistaken for Peach and placed in the role. More…

Jonathan Archer was everybody’s hero, especially his own. He not only commanded Earth’s first warp 5 starship, but he looked cool while doing it. His father was famed gynecologist Henry Archer.

When Archer was very little, his father took him hunting with a bow and arrow, despite the advancement of more suitable weaponry, like guns and “Profit and Lace”. While hunting, Archer broke his little bow and his father laughed so hard that he contracted Clarke’s Disease and died. Thirty years later, Jonathan Archer would be reminded of this event when a giant, mutant Klingon ironically crash-landed in Broken Bow, Oklahoma. (ENT: “Broken Bow”, “Cold Station 12″) read more …

Jean-Luc Picard was a British chap who pretended to be a French guy because he thought it would help boost his career. Unfortunately, he was right, but only because the people at Starfleet Command are idiots. He soon became the captain of a really big, revamped version of Enterprise and was so giddy about his cushy assignment that he completely forgot he was supposed to be a Frenchman and kept using a British accent. His crew either didn’t notice, didn’t care, or decided they would use it as “dirt” later. Read more >>>

Jonathan Archer was everybody’s hero, especially his own. He not only commanded Earth’s first warp 5 starship, but he looked cool while doing it. His father was famed gynecologist Henry Archer.

When Archer was very little, his father took him hunting with a bow and arrow, despite the advancement of more suitable weaponry, like guns and “Profit and Lace”. While hunting, Archer broke his little bow and his father laughed so hard that he contracted Clarke’s Disease and died. Thirty years later, Jonathan Archer would be reminded of this event when a giant, mutant Klingon ironically crash-landed in Broken Bow, Oklahoma. (ENT: “Broken Bow”, “Cold Station 12″) read more …

Super Mario 128 is the first shame since the 1600s to have both Mario and Luigi in it. Well, actually, since Mario is dead, Wario took his place.

Evil Guy, and his assistant, Pickle, kidnapped Waluigi during the Yoshi’s Island Scandal. As that event was going on, Mario was killed in the Toad Revolt, leaving it up to a dwarf planet named Luigi and a larger planet named Wario to save the day. The final Boss is Evil Guy. In the end, Evil Guy and Pickle are defeated, but not before they destroy Luigi. Luigi comes back as a pickle, and Waluigi stays missing. more…